i won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough; i’m giving you all my love – i’m still looking up

Jason Mraz’s new album is streaming through youtube.  I’m holding five conversations at once.  One with a friend from college through facebook, one with my best friend in Georgia through texting, one with you dear reader, one with Jason Mraz, and one with God.

Ah, the things that run through my mind late at night. ::checks time:: well, it’s not even that late at night.  Only 10:30 now.

I’m frustrated again.  My earbud headphones that practically glow a blue-green color, died on me again.  I say again because this is the third pair of the same brand that I’ve gone through.  I haven’t even went through all of the little green rubber things that you stick on them! Sigh unfairness. Oh well. I guess I’ll live. :P  with only one ear working! Grr. So frustrating. Mama said it was because I’m the hardest on any pair of headphones.  But I really do take care of them!  And I don’t bend them in odd ways so that they don’t get shorts so easily.  But I need headphones that work because I listen to music all of the freaking time.

Which leads me to speak of Jason Mraz’s new album which totally rocks my toe socks off… If I had them on right now.  I should, it’s freezing in this house… anyway, that comes later.  Take a listen to Jason Mraz’s new album, ‘love is a four letter word’ (as offensive as that sounds, the music consists of happy, up-beat music that is totally without any four-letter words, excluding ‘love’ of course). Preferably listen to it with headphones that work.

It is so freezing in this house! Teehee, I’m home. ^_^  yup, school’s out for the summer before summer even starts.  Or maybe it has… it just doesn’t feel like it… anyway.  I got fuzzy slippers on, long jeans, a sweat shirt (that unfortunately is very thin, but what can I say? I’m a poor broke college student :P), and a fuzzy blanky wrapped around my shoulders.  I can’t feel my poor toeses, and the tips of my fingers might fall off from typing so fast and feeling numb at the same time. :P

I’m happy to be home. ^_^  we are planning on moving next month to south carolina… my daddy found another job which looks like it’s gonna be a good one.  I saw pictures of the new house… it looks loverly.  And it’ll be the biggest house we will ever live in! I’m so excited. WALK-IN CLOSET FOR MEEEE! Happy stuff. ^_^  I still will be going to Belhaven university next semester along with my older brother who will join me. :)

I recently had to say goodbye to some friends at college who I won’t be seeing next semester.  In particular, four Korean girls who were exchange students to Belhaven.  They really became amazing friends and I know that I’ll miss them so much next semester… it really won’t be the same without my ‘unnies’.  I really hope to go to Korea next semester and see them again.

God is good.  And every time something bad happens, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and that God has a good plan for my life.  I know this summer is going to be ridiculously busy, and bound to be stressful and full of anxiety if I let it get the best of me.  I’ll do my best to put in my best effort into this move and finishing my book, and glorify God in the process.  Please pray that as hard as everything will be, that God will be glorified in what we do.

Sorry it has been awhile since I’ve written. ^_^  I’ve been busy, and when I haven’t been busy, I’ve been watching tv dramas. (~_^)  I’m also sorry for the grammar mistakes.  I typed this all out on word documents first – and a lot of y’all know I usually type things out all in lower case.  So, word documents has only capitalized all that it thinks it needs to, and I’m fine with that, as long as y’all can still decipher what I say. ^_^

i also apologize if i rambled too much.  i normally ramble at night.  and i just decided that i need to type out what was going on on word document, so i wasn’t originally going to post all this.  in fact, i had to go back and edit out most of my entry when i decided to let the world know what i’m doing via blogging. ;)

please kick back and enjoy the song.  and then go to bed, because it has gotten late. :P <3

title from: i won’t give up by jason mraz

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it’s Christmas, and we are in love with the way that soft snowflakes kiss us from far above the blustery breeze

first off, i apologize. i could have updated my blog in the past month and a half, but instead, i have danced, listened to music, and watched tv in my free time. ::blushes:: not on cable, anyhow, but on the internet, which causes a real problem, you know – it’s not like on the internet you have to wait until next week for the next episode because all the episodes are there for instant streaming.  i thought my tv watching would be curbed when my dad told me to stop using hulu because it took up all the internet in the house… so i found the tv show on youtube. :} teehee…

Christmas vacation is finally upon us! hooray! although, it would be awkward if it wasn’t, considering, it is Christmas day. :P  it was strange, being the Christmas season is here and all, and i haven’t gone to a single party.  y’all may remember, last year, we were in a constant mess of parties. every night for two whole weeks it seemed we were partying.  so no parties this year (since we moved to a small town in mississippi), but we’ve been excessively busy still.

by finals week, i was staying up until 3:00 and 4:30.  i was thoroughly exhausted and thought that yippee! i can catch up on my sleep at home! but nooo, instead, i was staying up until 1:30 and 3:00 every night and sleeping in until noon every day.  needless to say, my whole sleeping schedule has been pretty messed up.  not that i’m complaining, it’s been fun.  i might start complaining when school starts up, though. :P

so, last night we had a delicious meal at a friend’s house, and the Christmas spirit was really kicking in.  we got home, and drank eggnog while my daddy read the Christmas story from the Bible.  after that, we each opened one present from under the tree. i scurried off to bed at 11:30 (because it really messes up the magic of things if you go to bed after 12:00… i mean, santa comes then, right?).  but unfortunately, the normal excitement for Christmas – you know, the kind of excitement that keeps middle-schoolers up – kept me up for a while.  ‘oh what the heck,’ i sighed – and commenced to opening my laptop in order to watch ‘barbie and the nutcracker’ on youtube.  unfortunately, internet takes forever to load in my bedroom so instead i watched the end dance scene – you know, the part when everything seems like it’s going to end happily ever after when the prince and the sugar plum princess are dancing in the castle courtyard.  successfully made drowsy, i shut my computer and went to sleep.

this morning, i was pounced on by my older brother.  i dragged my feet out of bed, put on my fuzzy slippers and went into the living room.  our stockings are hidden and we have to find them every Christmas – i had a ‘little helper’ who showed me where mine was.  needless to say, i was truly grateful, seeing as my eyes didn’t seem to want to open.

the loot i got from my family! ^_^ unfortunately, wordpress is going too unbearably slow in order for me to upload anything else, so this is all for today folks. :)

i hope you all have a very happy and blessed Christmas! <3

title from: the Christmas song by owl city

you’re like the tide in the deep blue ’cause you’re always there when i need you, and when you need someone to carry you through, i’m gonna be there for you

can i just say there there is almost nothing in this world like making pumpkin shaped pizzas with your family, while inhaling the smell of some apple candle somewhere in the house, setting up ‘it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown!’ movie, all the while yiruma’s ‘the scenery begins’ is playing softly in the background?

i’m home for the weekend. <3

title from: downpour by brandi carlile

you wanna d – d – d – d – dance? get your dancing shoes!

hello world. :)

i promise i haven’t totally disappeared.  on the contrary, i’m quite alive and well, although i’m also very busy.  school is going well, and i’ve been feeling more confident with my studying and test-taking.  i’m a little nervous for upcoming ones, but i feel really good about what the outcome will be. :)

of late i’ve been having fun with some new friends and catching up with some old ones.  hee, i really do love my peoples here. <3 :)

this last weekend was homecoming.  our football team won (GO BLAZERS! :).  the homecoming dance was fun too – although, because i did not have a dance-able dress, i went in a cute shirt, jean shorts, and black tights.  thus the reason i’m not posting pictures of that. :D  but, i do happen to have a neat picture of the whole party:

it was swell. :) i really do love my peoples here… <3

i started registering for classes next semester.  i felt so confused when i looked at the list of everything i would have to take!  there are so many conflicting classes with what i want to take or what i have to take.  it’s slightly frustrating, but it’ll all work out.

i’ve been dancing a lot lately.  it’s random, but it makes me happy. :}

that was a random statement. :P

tried out a new bible study thingy tonight, which happened to be amazing.  very moving.  they even showed a testimony from lecrae (an amazing rapper).  the music was also very good.  i might go back again next time.  it was a nice way to start off the week. :)

i also wrote my first short story for my creative writing class this last week.  i don’t think it was anything special, but i was happy to have accomplished my third ever short story.  short stories really aren’t my thing.  see – it’s so hard to put a limit on oneself of the number of pages if you really have a good or lengthy plot. :P

been dancing to this song lately. :)

title from: dancing shoes by aj

when i was just a young’un i’m look but so precious, but now i’m grown up, so fly its like a blessing, but i can’t have a man look at me for five seconds without be feeling insecure. see you had a lot of crooks tryna steal my heart, never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out how to love…

title from: how to love by lil wayne

radio, radio – tell me what i wanna know, wanna know; i’ve been wide awake, stayin’ up all night, waiting for a song that’ll make me feel alright

just because i  have all the time in the world, i came up with a list of things i’ve learned at college so far.  please understand, that these will most definitely not contain the scholastic things i’ve learned.  so please be entertained, take notes, take to heart, or just totally blow it all off.  but please take note that i’ve worked hard on this slightly time-consuming piece – it was an effort me to put personal thought into all of these. :D no really,  i’m serious. :}
  1. food get’s old after the second week.  cafeteria food.  the bets part about it is the ice cream. :}
  2. it’s better to be ‘perfectly lonely’. (<3s for john mayer)
  3. piano in a busy place makes for magical moments.
  4. after about a month, you want to eat food other than salad.  *please don’t go splurge…*
  5. comparing people to movie stars or story characters is common.  ‘hey, that teacher looks like george lucas…’
  6. sometimes a girl get’s more eyes than she’d like.  the guy who looks at you doesn’t want to be your friend. keep it that way. :P
  7. the best guy friends are the ones who want to be your friend, and the ones you can compare to your own crazy brothers. :P
  8. the best girl friends are your confidants after the first week of knowing each other, and will hug you even when you’re sick.
  9. the best friends back up and respect your morals and boundaries, even around their other friends.
  10. you realize your lack of new clothes.  ‘i have nothing to wear!  everybody has seen me in those already!’ ;)
  11. the best part of the week is when it’s time to play in the fountain. ‘any security guards around…?’ :D
  12. the best class really isn’t class to you just because it’s that fun.  (creative writing is the best!)
  13. good teaching affects you to the point that you do homework for fun.
  14. headphones are so in.  um, literally. :P
  15. to not be quick to judge.  everybody’s different, accept them that way.  stereotypes suck.
  16. roach reunions are common.  especially in the hallways and bathroom. *shudders*
  17. the gentleman will walk you home.
  18. go barefoot only outside – not in a public building.
  19. red hair dye is common.  (just not in my hair :P)
  20. you can tell when it’s people’s ‘comfy’ days. ‘woot! sweatpants and no makeup!’
  21. religious organizational groups are popular, but few people pay attention to what’s being said.  (the only time they’re a saint is when they’re at small group)
  22. it’s easier to realize how small you are in a place so big.  ‘mommy…? :-/’
  23. a good friend will ask you how you are and then ask you to define ‘fine’. (and ‘not fine’ is responded with a hug :)
  24. to praise people for good and decent taste in clothes. ‘love your shirt! hey, your pants are pulled up today!’ ;)
  25. don’t dis any form of philosophical point of view.  just ’cause it’s a place diverse in opinion don’t mean they’re okay with it. :P
  26. don’t laugh if you don’t think it’s funny.  ‘get a hint, people. being crass ain’t nice.’
  27. don’t be in a secluded group of people you are uncomfortable with.  *run away…*
  28. if someone picks on you, be silent and leave, and your friends will defend you, even if you don’t know about it. :)
  29. observe peoples around you in the student center if you like to study character – you’ll meet a lot of it. :P
  30. if you’re serious about your faith, stick up for it.
  31. there is absolutely no privacy for a phone conversation on campus.
  32. contact the ones you love as much as possible.  you won’t regret it, of course. :)
  33. never ignore a ‘hello’ or smile.
  34. give everybody a smile – it makes a happier day for both of y’all. :}
  35. don’t ever jump to conclusions – but don’t leave issues hanging.  ‘sooo… what’d that mean?’
  36. make the most out of the time with your friends.  sometimes you just have no idea where to start looking on campus. :P
  37. make sure to wash your dishes after using them.  it’s like concrete after two days. :P
  38. try to keep up with your laundry.  don’t learn that the hard way.
  39. bookshop items are expensive.
  40. God is amazing and epic.  live like you know it. ’cause, you know – you kinda do.
  41. give people a chance to change. ‘strike one… strike two…’
  42. love your guy friends, but don’t mislead them.  (and straight up, don’t flirt. it’s annoying when you witness it anyway. :P)
  43. have fun in every situation – even if it means getting a little crazy. (yawoot ;)
  44. live without regrets.  life’s always good – just make sure to keep things in perspective.
  45. keep a positive attitude – you have no idea how it might impact someone.
  46. hugs are the best gifts in the whole wide world. <3
  47. stay innocent and vulnerable, despite what’s offered to me.  ‘shun the bad movies! shun the conversation! shunnn…’
  48. to not regret saying ‘no’ when it’s the best thing for me.  (remember, your momsy and daddy would be proud :)
  49. don’t hide, but don’t yell, “I’M OVER HERE!” blending in is lame and sticking out is like a sore thumb. :P
  50. love all people, and work on loving the ones hardest to love.
  51. live life loving it! or at least try… :}
so, this is what i’ve learned.  a lot of it is out of observation (i’m a writer, remember?) and some of it is personal experience (don’t worry, momsy, i meant it when i said that calling people is great :).  so i’m definitely not blowing any hot air. :P
oh, and one last word of wisdom:
  1. happy dancing and tap dancing rocks, especially in a random spot.  tap dancing is doubly great.  especially when you don’t actually know how to do it. at all.
title from: radio by brooke white

i don’t want wanna be nobody’s fool – i’ve played that part so many times before; how long to be a shadow on the wall? i will make no sound at all, and when the sun goes down, the shadow on the wall – it cannot be seen at all

hello void. :)

maybe because i’ve suddenly been thrown into the busy, social world of going to school, i want more of it. eh, the social – not the school. ;)  i’ve been getting a lot lonelier faster than i should, i mean.  i had made a few really good friends here and have been lame enough to not try to make anymore friends.  which was/is wrong.  even though it is hard for me to make new friends, i really shouldn’t use that as an excuse while my other friends make friends.  i am happy and content with the peoples i have – not saying that’s a problem – but i’ve shied away from meeting new people.  which isn’t cool, peoples.

and now when my friends are with their friends (not saying that i’m not their friend, they’ve got to make time for them all), i start to feel… lonely (duh).  i hate being selfish.  that’s a big one i’m going to have to work on.  that and being outspoken enough to hug the whole school without feeling embarrassed.  where did that girl go? the one who wanted to be friends with the whole school? the one now who sits shy and quiet in the corner of the world, afraid to shine the light God gave her?

oh bob.  my nose is excessively stuffy tonight.  which doesn’t make for an attractive speaker.  and my nose has been running.  i’m definitely not a ‘looker’.  i don’t have a fever anymore, but my sinuses, oooh my sinuses…

i was studying in the student center (that was past tense, folks ;).  but after the people quieted and left, after piano playing stopped, it was like a spell had been broken.  i’m sitting in a big empty place.  people walk in and out.  but it’s so quiet… it’s so much easier to study with a hum of busy, laughing, swearing (it’s not like you can hear it amid the rest of the chaos, but it’s pretty darn constant :P) people.

this moment is just one of those moments i miss all of my family and friends, and wish that it was christmas vacation.  three months left.

epic quote of the night from meg ryan’s character kathleen kelly from you’ve got mail:

sometimes i wonder about my life. i lead a small life. well, not small, but valuable. and sometimes i wonder, do i do it because i like it, or because i haven’t been brave? so much of what i see reminds me of something i read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? i don’t really want an answer. i just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. so good night, dear void.

title from: shadow on the wall by brandi carlile

she was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an ‘L’ on her forehead

i knew it was coming.

it started maybe on friday.  i sat down to supper and i swallowed – and then i realized, ‘oh snap. my throat’s getting sore’.  it could’ve been anything other than the terrible cold it turned out to be, but i knew it wasn’t.  see, one of my dear friends has a terrible cold too and i’ve been sure to give her lots of hugs (because don’t you hate it that when you’re sick, nobody hugs you so that they don’t get sick too? it’s an awful feeling).  so yeah, i knew the risks.  and now that i have the cold, i’m very grateful that she returned the throat lossanges when she did. :P

i accidentally missed my ride to church because i overslept.  i could have walked to another church, but it looked like rain and i really didn’t want to risk that.  but by divine providence, i heard from sarah who was going to church twenty minutes from when i got up.  so, i put some clothes on that didn’t need ironing and ran out the room in order to go to my first ever non-denominational church service. :)

after lunch, i crashed onto my bed.  i slept and lay there most of the afternoon.  maybe it’s because i’m sick that i feel so drowsy.  my papa came and took me out to dinner, which was fun and nice (i got to get off campus! WOOT! ;).

i was planning on going to the guys’s ‘open hall’ tonight, but i’m seriously not in the mood.  i should be working on my last paper, but i’m just exhausted.  which doesn’t make sense considering i’ve gotten more than enough sleep.  drat – i really need to get laundry done too…

oh bob. i’m just really tired and i’ve got a really bad headache.  hopefully it’ll skip off soon so i don’t have to deal with it this week. :)

title from: allstar sung by smash mouth

she is love, and her ways are high and steep, and i believe, i do believe her when she speaks…

oh goodness! i’m afraid that i left y’all in the dust for almost a whole month! hmm, what has happened since then?

well, i’ve finished my first week of school already and starting on my second. school homework is swell, i guess. the hardest thing for me to do is the ‘worldview’ class. a really sweet gal from three floors above me helps me out on that subject though, so it’s gotten easier.

it was really hard for me to make friends the first week. i had a hard time at orientation too – making friends just does not come easy for me. introductions and conversation starters just aren’t my cup of tea. conveniently, my first friend here was my roommate, maggie. oh my cow, God blessed me so much by sticking me with another beatles fan and vintage lover like myself! maggie and i love all the same music. it’s crazy and wonderful. :) then i made a friend over the fact we were both lonely and we struck up a conversation about it. i’ve made several other friends too – next-door neighbors, and people i hang out with in the student center.

my room is spiffingly decorated! i can’t wait to get a poster on my wall though – my wall is too naked. :P

one thing that kind of hit me in the face once i started coming to belhaven was the crassness and language people used. being homeschooled all my life, i had no idea that i would have to face all of this, even at a christian college. even professing believers being rude. a wise lady i was talking to earlier today told me that i will soon ‘learn who is the friend and who is the acquaintance and live with that more ably’, and that the freshman year is the hardest when dealing with the crassness of others. what can i say? i look forward to my sophomore year. ;)

today was very good – easiest day of classes too. only two classes and i have the homework already done for both of them! (heh, i’m enjoying it now – tomorrow is going to be rough considering it’ll be my toughest day of classes!) i went downtown to fondren with three of my friends. we got lost twice or three times i think, but it was still fun. :) the place we went to, ‘sneaky beans’ was really cute – i think it used to be a house at one time.

i’ve been terribly homesick, but things got a little better over the weekend. but still; i can’t wait to see my family this labor day weekend. :)

title from: she is love by oasis

all that i’m after is a life full of laughter – as long as i’m laughing with you; i’m thinkin’ that all that still matters is love ever after, after the life we’ve been through ’cause i know there’s no life after you.

this will be the last time that i post on my blog in a long time. i’ll go one step at a time. :P

the retirement ceremony! i promised that i wouldn’t cry, and guess what?! i cried. :P it was very lovely. daddy unfortunately wasn’t able to have a whole, decked-out navy ceremony because his flag bearers and side boys backed out at the last minute. but despite that, it still turned out perfectly. daddy even said that he was glad that it didn’t work out, or else it would have been focused more on the navy and not the gospel message or his family.  it was beautiful. :)

:)

we’ve been to several parties and have said goodbye to a lot of people as well. it’s been rough, but i know i’ll see them all again. i’ve actually been guaranteed a job already as a live-in nanny for the sarah and andrew – the kiddos i nannied last year! i’m excited to see them and everybody else again. :)

we’ve said other goodbyes as well…

sunday was john’s birthday party. we all went to the park to play games in order to celebrate his fourteenth birthday. but because a lightning storm unleashed not twenty minutes into the game. :P some sweet friends offered to host it at their house so we had an indoor party. it was still very fun, but there were a lot of weepy goodbyes at the end.

we had dinner with more friends last night and we’ll have dinner with more friends tonight and some the next night – our last night. unfortunately, i haven’t had the chance to upload more pictures. on thursday we leave colorado to visit people on our cross country trip to mississippi. so, on that note, i’m not sure when y’all will hear from me next, though i hope it’ll be soon.

well, it may sound like i’m a little down in the dumps here. but God is faithful so i’m confident that everything will turn out for our good. and, it’s not like i’m not coming back next summer. ;)

so, time for some happy tunage! :D  whenever i feel a little down, i listen or dance to it, or sometimes both. ;) when i hear it in my head, i can’t help but dance too! (i don’t doubt that it offers another excuse for people to look at me funny :P) but it all makes me so happy. :}

title from: life after you by daughtry

ps, i still can’t believe that the final harry potter comes into theaters the day after we move! i know that it’ll *have* to happen, but i want to see that movie so bad! what can i say? it’ll be epic. :) aaand, i’ll wear my ‘i <3 fred’ shirt in support of the poor dood. :)

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